While many days lately have felt more like summer thank spring in Boston, it truly is feeling like a reawakening to the world. More of more of my friends, family, and colleagues are fully vaccinated and the world is beginning to reopen, for better or for worse. It feels hard to follow the different rules and guidelines, but I am feeling hopeful about my ability to ramp up my postpartum doula work as well as my trainings and support groups.
Sometimes spring and flowers and sunshine can feel challenging when you are stuck inside with a new baby, recovering from a traumatic birth, or so sleep deprived you can barely open your eyes. One of my previous jobs was working for a suicide prevention nonprofit and I remember learning about how spring can often be the hardest for those of us with depression or anxiety because everyone else won’t stop talking about how happy they are with the nice weather. I feel like I see that theme often with parents of new babies. That they SHOULD be happy or joyful or feel a certain wonderful way about holding a new baby in their arms. This can be extremely invalidating of so many peoples experiences.
While I love showing new families how to do a bath or change a diaper, the core of my work is validating and normalizing all the mixed feelings that come with having a new baby in the house. It is a truly a moment of both/and. You can love your new baby AND feel grief about the loss of your old life. You can enjoy feeding them with your body AND feel incredibly trapped at times. As the mother of older children, I can tell you that those feelings of both/and don’t go away, even though they get less acute.
Happy spring babes. All your feelings are beautiful, real, and seen. I’m available to help you in your homes and will be posting new groups soon. Please reach out.